The leader of a small Florida church that espouses an anti-Islam philosophy says he is canceling plans to burn copies of the Quran on Sept. 11. The Rev. Terry Jones said today he had decided to cancel his protest because the leader of a planned Islamic Center near ground zero had agreed to move its controversial location. Any such agreement was unconfirmed. CNN reported that the developers of the mosque complex had denied the location would be moved.

The entire Menifee Union School District has banned all copies of the 10th edition of Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary because the dictionary includes a definition of the term "oral sex." An unknown source reported a faint smell of failure permeating the area. "It smelled a bit like burning paper and ink," said the unnamed source.