First of all, DO NOT BE AFRAID TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL IF YOU ARE SICK. Nothing you read in this article is suggesting that it's just better to nurse your horrible infection back to health in the comfort of your own garage.

Still, some absolutely bizarre things can happen to you during your stay. Some of these accidents are rare, some of them, uh, not so much. But all are horrifying. Like ...

Jonathan Mann doesn't like the TSA, and he's written a song to prove it. And it rhymes.

Banksy, the Scarlet Pimpernel of the art world, succeeded last night where many others have also succeeded – and made a cock out of Number 10.

John Kurtz illegally Panhandles in the core of downtown Orlando. The Police run away. John Kurtz asks the police officer to arrest him and informs him that he is breaking the law.

If there's one thing that working as undercover assassins and fighting terrorists in tall buildings has taught us, it's that everything worthy in life can be learned from movies. So if you're looking for love, there's nothing like sitting down with a bunch of romantic comedies and letting their sage lessons filter into your brain like music from a stereo held aloft by John Cusack.

Unfortunately, though, it's not quite that simple. When done in real life, many of the tricks used by onscreen singletons to successfully woo potential lovers can get you put away for a long time.