zero tolerance

Florida Teen Charged With Felony After Science Experiment Goes Bad

Posted May 1st, 2013 by phonon
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At 7 a.m. on Monday, the 16 year-old mixed some common household chemicals in a small 8 oz water bottle on the grounds of Bartow High School in Bartow, Florida. The reaction caused a small explosion that caused the top to pop up and produced some smoke. No one was hurt and no damage was caused. After the explosion Wilmot was taken into custody by a school resources officer and charged with possession/discharge of a weapon on school grounds and discharging a destructive device. She will be tried as an adult. She was then taken to a juvenile assessment center.

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MD state senator proposes "Toaster Pastry Gun Freedom Act"

A Maryland state senator has crafted a bill to curb the zeal of public school officials who are tempted to suspend students as young as kindergarten for having things — or talking about things, or eating things — that represent guns, but aren’t actually anything like real guns. The bill also includes a section mandating counseling for school officials who fail to distinguish between guns and things that resemble guns. School officials who fail to make such a distinction more than once would face discipline themselves.

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Cupcakes topped with army men figures confiscated at school

Posted March 9th, 2013 by pmfalcon
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Last week, Casey Fountain’s third grade son had a birthday party at school. His wife whipped up 30 cupcakes for the boy’s classmates. She topped the treats with plastic army guys. “And shortly after my wife delivered the cupcakes to the school she got a phone call from his teacher that said that the army men had to be removed, because they had guns.” Fountain says the principal called him personally and told him that dressing the cupcakes with soldiers was insensitive considering recent gun related tragedies, referring to the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary in Connecticut.

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Many Suburban Cops Allowed To Work "Half Drunk." It's in the contract.

Posted February 16th, 2013 by phonon
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Do you think your police department has a zero-tolerance policy for alcohol? Think again. Many suburban departments actually have clauses in their union contracts which prevent any kind of discipline for officers with substantial amounts of alcohol in their systems -- even those nearing the state definition of legally drunk, an investigation by the Better Government Association and NBC Chicago reveals.

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Middle Schooler Forced to Take Drug Test to Join Scrapbooking Club

Posted September 24th, 2012 by phonon
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A 12 year old girl wanted to join the "scrapbooking club" at her middle school in Milford, Pennsylvania. One day she took home a permission slip. It said that to participate in the club or any school sport, she would have to consent to drug testing. “They were asking a 12-year-old to pee in a cup,” Kathy Kiederer said. “I have a problem with that. They’re violating her right to privacy over scrapbooking?"

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Banned From Wearing a Kilt to Prom

The school is giving the (not so) subtle message that academic pursuits aren't worthwhile if they weren't sanctioned by the school.

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Remember the Pizza Gun Incident? This is the cheese bus incident.

Posted March 13th, 2012 by snappytype
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My son recently ate his cheese into the shape of a bus. He proceeded to threaten me with it. Should I call the police? Zero tolerance satire here.

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Cops Called To Elementary School After Girl Kisses Boy in Class

Posted November 22nd, 2011 by phonon
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A sheriff’s deputy was dispatched last week to a Florida elementary school after a girl kissed a boy during a physical education class.

School brass actually reported the impromptu buss as a possible sex crime, according to the Lee County Sheriff’s Office.

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Fake salvia leads to real charges

Posted March 16th, 2011 by phonon
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On Monday state police in Kentucky, one of the 19 states that have banned salvia, arrested Jo Ann Warner, owner of Dusty's Adult World in Mortons Gap, and charged her with 23 counts of "prohibited practices concerning substances that simulate controlled substances," a Class A misdemeanor punishable by up to a year in jail for each count. Here the government takes a law that should not exist and kicks it up another nonsensical notch, criminalizing not only consensual drug transactions but actions that resemble them.

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Bag of oregano leads to multiple suspensions

Posted March 16th, 2011 by phonon
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A Virginia father said he was outraged his son was suspended for possessing a plastic bag of oregano at his middle school.

The bag of oregano, which resembled marijuana, was labeled an "imitation controlled substance" by the school and four students were suspended.

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